Issue 4: Helena Pantsis
“Karmen only knew so many words in Greek. She knew how to say: hello, how are you? my name is Karmen, and where is the train station? She did not know how to say: I think a woman is drowning in the distance.”
~ Swimmer by Helena Pantsis
Your short story “Swimmer” depicts an uncanny incident in the life of the narrator Karmen when she’s travelling in Greece, which allows her to reflect on the loss of her brother. Can you tell us a bit more about the inspiration behind this piece?
Recently my brother, who is a swimming teacher and basically lives in the water, was diagnosed with cancer. It was probably the lowest point in my life, and as many writers can relate, I tend to work through the harsh, unrelenting emotions through my work. He's okay now, and though not technically in remission yet, has been cancer free for some years now—still, the grief of such a potential loss was something I couldn't dig myself from under. I didn't realise how much my brother meant to me until he walked in the door and said: I have cancer. I just bawled. In this way, Karmen is a character who's lived through loss and has yet to recover from it. She sees a person drowning and becomes that person; the event parallels her struggle with mourning and being the one who lived, watching her brother descend to his lowest point, and after his death, stooping to that point, mentally, herself.
Your short stories have been widely published in both national and international journals. What draws you to exploring the “gritty, dark and experimental”?
Escaping in worlds that are starkly different from the ones we inhabit, particularly through magical realist and speculative/fantastical elements, can be thrilling and therapeutic all at once. I know that darkness is often something we feel trapped in day to day—still, I love how in writing it can be manipulated to enable the exploration of our own trauma, but through its manifestation as a work of fiction, the utilisation of different mediums, genres, or crafts can elevate and subvert the negative into something meaningful and close, yet entirely distanced, from our gritty realities. The process of transformation from idea to finished, polished piece works best, I find, when it stems from our depths, resulting in things we so often don't recognise and are astonished to find came from our dark, zany little brains.
You are also an artist and graphic designer. What other creative projects do you currently have in the works?
Recently I've been obsessed with the combination of poetry and comic art. So often we confine the graphic form to tales of superheroes or fantastical, chronological plots, but the visual can really elevate seemingly simple poems to another level. I've been looking back over old, unsuccessful standalone pieces of poetry I've written and making graphic works of them. The process is fun and super rewarding, as I haven't had to kill my darlings, but simply repurpose them.
What writers or poets are at the top of your reading list at the moment?
After I’m over my end of year slump, the first thing on my TBR list is Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder which I've been meaning to sink my teeth into for a while now. Otherwise I'm also just generally looking forward to discovering more emerging artists through Australia's delectable array of literary magazines; it's my favourite way to find new talents and dive into writings I'd never before been given the chance to explore.
Helena Pantsis (she/they) is a writer, student, and artist from Naarm, Australia. A full-time student of creative writing, they have a fond appreciation for the gritty, the dark, and the experimental. Her works have been published in Overland, Island, Going Down Swinging, and Meanjin. More can be found at hlnpnts.com