We’ve Got This: Stories by Disabled Parents edited by Eliza Hull
“…being a disabled parent is not a deficit; we create a rich, colourful life where difference is celebrated and embraced.”
Eliza Hull’s anthology about disabled parenting, We’ve Got This, was released in 2021 but its message is timeless. In a society that was built by and for able-bodied people, stories like those in We’ve Got This are essential to raise awareness, build solidarity and challenge the status quo.
The diversity of contributors and the form of the contributions reflect the diversity of disability itself. Featuring contributions from writers with physical, sensory and invisible disabilities, writers from various cultural backgrounds as well as writers both within and outside the gender binary, the anthology demonstrates that disabled people are not a homogenous group, nor should we be treated as such. Most of the pieces were written by the contributors themselves, but Hull compiled some of them from her interviews with the subjects. In this way, the anthology embodies the notion that disabled people can and should be able to participate fully in the community if we are granted the right supports. Furthermore, the anthology contends, despite ableist views to the contrary, disabled people can and do make great parents.
As Hull writes in the introduction, “being a disabled parent is not a deficit; we create a rich, colourful life where difference is celebrated and embraced.” The pieces in the anthology reinforce Hull’s assertion, with Jasper Peach proudly remarking that their children will know “different kinds of strength – resilience, courage to speak up and saying no when necessary.” For some parents, it took a long time to come to this conclusion and it is something they often have to remind themselves. Renay Barker-Mulholland, a Birpi-Daingattti woman, found that it was getting a diagnosis that allowed her to “see the barriers as a lack of support, not a moral failing.”
We’ve Got This is vital reading for disabled and able-bodied readers alike. As someone with both psychosocial and physical disability, I had long ago resolved not to have children because I believed they deserved better than to be burdened by my conditions. This anthology invited me to reconsider that conviction, to acknowledge that if other disabled people could see their disability as something that enriched rather than detracted from their parenting then perhaps, one day, I could do the same. We’ve Got This prompts able-bodied audiences to examine their ableist ideas, just as it allowed me to challenge my own.
Several pieces in the anthology recount experiences of ableism – sometimes well-meaning and sometimes downright cruel. For example, Paralympian Jessica Smith recalled her shock at a nurse questioning her ability to handle the physical demands of being a mother. As Jessica reflected, “I’d spent my entire life adapting and learning how to do things in my own time, my own way. Why would this be any different?” Similarly, when Debra Keenahan saw a gynecologist who confirmed that her unborn child shared her disability, the gynecologist told her she should have made an appointment earlier because he “could have done something about this.” The experiences of ableism range from low expectations of disabled people, as in Jessica’s piece, to proponents of eugenics such as Debra’s gynecologist. We’ve Got This is an indictment of ableist behaviour and an opportunity for able-bodied audiences to learn and do better.
As such, We’ve Got This is a powerful, trailblazing collection, a declaration of disability pride. It challenges disabled and nondisabled readers to deeply scrutinise entrenched ableism and recognise the potential, grace and gumption of disabled parents.
Laura Pettenuzzo is a disabled writer living on Wurundjeri country. Her words have appeared in various places including The Age and Link Disability Magazine. Laura is also a member of the Victorian Disability Advisory Council.