My Tidda, My Sister by Marlee Silva
“Without my sisters beside me, I am not whole, nor are any of my individual achievements possible… They (sisters) remind us of what’s important, putting our circumstances into perspective, and consistently help us all believe we are stronger and more capable than we know.”
My Tidda, My Sister (2020) is an anthology impeccably and movingly assembled by proud Gamilaroi and Dunghutti woman, Marlee Silva: the creator of the Tiddas 4 Tiddas podcast and its online community. This compilation of heartfelt stories is centred on the resilience and steadfastness of Indigenous women throughout history, but it is also a cry of solidarity, both weary and strong, to all women.
With a foreword by the fiercely creative actress, director and writer Leah Purcell, this collection inspires, shocks and challenges. But it also does more than that. It fires the spirit and binds us in ways that only storytelling can.
“To be called Sis, Sissy, Sister and Tidda is heart-warming, soul-enriching; It gives you a sense of security and a sense of pride that you belong, whether you be blood or not.”
The book is divided into three sections which explore the past, present and future. It also features poetry and ‘Tidda Talks’ topics from Silva’s online platform, illustrated with colourful artworks by Goreng Goreng artist Rachael Sarra that weave through the book like smoke.
In the first section, aunties and nans share memories of their lives, both painful and proud. These are women who, despite having so little, carried the heavy burdens inflicted on them by government, society and wilful ignorance.
“We have hands that can build tin humpies filled with love, where social workers and academics and sportsmen and Aboriginal leaders can be raised. We have voices that can carry through generations, that can determine the successes of our children and grandchildren.”
Their stories lift from the page and gift hope, strength and inspiration to the reader.
In the second section, Silva talks to women who reflect on their heroines, and how they found the courage to reach out, to take action and to grow. Their stories resonate in the present. Many of the women have climbed out of the awkwardness and box-ticking of school and institutions to reach a place where they can reflect on their pride and strength. These stories all focus on young Indigenous women who continue to rail against questions concerning degrees of blackness and judgements of their ability and truth-telling. Silva quotes her father here:
“Aboriginality is like coffee. No matter how much milk you add, coffee is still coffee.”
Finally, the third section captures those moments from the Tiddas 4 Tiddas project where young women of the next generation reflect upon the women who came before them, and their ongoing struggles and hopes. In a time of ever-present social media, they reflect on the power it has to crush and shame, as well as to create positive communities of support and kindness. Painful stories that brush against suicide and depression are countered by Silva’s mantras of power and positivity, focusing on what success could and will look like:
“My dear tiddas and sisters,
if you’ve got me and I’ve got you,
like our aunties and grandmums paved the path for us,
we’ve got this next step too.”
The book is at times an easy read, light and conversational as a story that flickers around the fire; at other times, it’s heartbreakingly difficult and the words need to be re-read out of disbelief and disappointment. The book is filled with lives lived with challenges, hesitation and, ultimately, self-belief. This is a book for everyone - men included - to gain a different perspective, to listen, to acknowledge and to understand.
It’s interesting that Silva has chosen to appeal to the next generation via a book – the outpouring from her Tiddas 4 Tiddas online community bucking the trend of transition from paper to sound. This book provides access to so many others because of its format.
The stories can be read independently or in sequence. They just need to be read. And read aloud.
Kylie McCormack is a writer and reader currently living on Yidinji Country (Far North Queensland). Her words have been published in magazines, stenciled on a walkway, and featured on a wine website. She’s been a regular reader for the Nillumbik Prize for Contemporary Writing. You can find her online at letterassembly.com.