Ain’t No (M)Other: 8 Books That Explore the Nuances of Motherhood
“I wanted what we all want: everything. We want a mate who feels like family and a lover who is exotic, surprising. We want to be youthful adventurers and middle-aged mothers. We want intimacy and autonomy, safety and stimulation, reassurance and novelty, coziness and thrills. But we can’t have it all.”
~ The Rules Do Not Apply, Ariel Levy
Whether you are a mother, want to be a mother, have no inclination for motherhood or have lost a mother: the reality and ideas surrounding motherhood impact us all in some way.
Writing about motherhood is vast - as is the experience itself - and it’s the writers who dare to explore the hardship as well as the joys of motherhood that make this a rich and emotionally charged topic.
Below are eight of our favourite texts to help you dive into the nuances of motherhood.
Fiction
The Mother Fault by Kate Mildenhall
When Mim’s husband goes missing, her entire world is thrown into chaos. Not least because The Department has fitted everyone with a universal tracking chip meaning no one should be able to ‘go missing.’ After Mim is questioned, forced to surrender her passport and threatened with her children being taken into care, she goes on the run to find answers. Shedding all previous labels - mother, daughter, wife - Mim embraces a new identity to become the woman her family desperately needs. The Mother Fault is an exhilarating dystopian thriller based on ideas of motherhood and identity that won’t disappoint.
A River of Stars by Vanessa Hua
A vivid exploration of home and belonging, A River of Stars charts the course of Scarlett Chen, who becomes pregnant by her factory boss. Already married with three daughters, he is excited to learn that Scarlett will birth a long-awaited son. He sends her to America from China, hoping his son will have the best beginning in life. Hidden away in a secret mothers-to-be maternity home in Los Angeles, Scarlett awaits the arrival of her baby until a sonogram reveals the unexpected. She flees, forging out in an attempt to claim the American dream and her own pathway in life - for herself and her baby.
Look How Happy I’m Making You by Polly Rosenwaike
The debut collection of short stories from Polly Rosenwaike dives deep into the facets of motherhood, with characters who are battling the decision to become mothers or facing the overwhelm of emerging into motherhood. Wry, honest and filled to the brim with empathy, the twelve stories in this collection hold nothing back when it comes to detailing the anxiety, fear, turmoil, absurdity and joy of embracing what it means to become a mother - or not.
Motherhood Made a Man Out of Me by Karen Karbo
Brooke and Mary Rose are best friends. Brooke has a six-month-old and often wonders why she is married to her husband. Mary Rose is pregnant and cannot marry the father of her child because he’s already married to someone else. A laugh-out-loud look at the strength of the bonds that bring women together through the connection of motherhood, Motherhood Made a Man Out of Me puts women front and centre in a narrative of courage and love.
Non-fiction
A Life’s Work: On Becoming a Mother by Rachel Cusk
Cusk’s memoir on modern motherhood received a hostile reception when it was first published in 2001, and Cusk has made no secret of her shock at the severity of the backlash it received. Voted as one of the Best 50 Memoirs in 50 Years, A Life’s Work is a provocative, touching and intensely insightful exploration of the contradictions of motherhood in a supposed world of gender equality. Sentimentality is partnered with shrewd honesty at the tedious aspects of becoming a mother. Cusk’s memoir is not to be missed for anyone contemplating or living through the challenges of motherhood.
I’m Supposed to Protect You From All This by Nadja Spiegelman
Described as “gorgeous and heartbreaking,” this memoir dives deep into the disconnection that exists across maternal generations. When Spiegelman emerges into adolescence, her relationship with her mother becomes tense. Following college, her mother opens up and recounts her turbulent upbringing and relationship with her own mother. Spiegelman travels to Paris and learns that her mother and grandmother have very different versions of the same events. This is a compelling look at the narratives that shape us - mothers, daughters, grandmothers - and the prevalence of “mother wounds” that lie open across generations.
The Rules Do Not Apply by Ariel Levy
A heart-wrenching, vivid and brutally honest account of how Ariel Levy went from having it all to losing it all and the slow journey back to finding her peace in life. In 2012, Levy had built a life that eschewed convention - married to a woman, pregnant through a sperm donation from her gay best friend, a successful international journalist, and financially secure in her own right. Heavily pregnant, she leaves for a reporting trip to Mongolia, and when she returns, nothing is the same. Learning the hard way that some rules very much apply and the real dangers of getting exactly what you want, Levy begins to put her life back together.
The Mother Wound by Amani Haydar
Described as “magnificent and devastating,” Amani Haydar’s debut memoir explores the impact of her mother’s murder through an act of domestic violence committed by her father. Pregnant herself at the time, Haydar had to reconcile the complex rupture the experience created in her life. An exceptional story of female resilience told through the lens of a daughter, mother, survivor, lawyer and advocate for women's health and safety, Haydar builds a compelling narrative of the role of motherhood in the home and the world.
Elaine Mead is a freelance writer and book reviewer, currently residing in Hobart, Tasmania. She is passionate about the ways we can use literature to learn from our experiences to become more authentic versions of ourselves and obsessed with showing you photos of her Dachshund puppy. You can find her online under www.wordswithelaine.com.
